Pride and Persistence

I got word last week that I am a semi-finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest. This was good news, needless to say. Actually, I was ecstatic for about 24 hours. I'm still very pleased, although there are interesting side issues, like having one's work so exposed (excerpts from all the semi-finalists work are posted on Amazon's website for all and sundry to read and review). And coming to the realization that my novel still needs work. One reviewer brought up the issue of my inconsistent use of past and present tense, and she is correct. I still think the book is worthy of publication, and the minor glitches are very fixable. In other words, I am proud of my book. Proud that I finished it. Proud that it's getting some attention, aside from the great rejection letters from publishers I have received. But I have to say, it's difficult to maintain the pride in my work, to persist in believing in it and myself. Pride is supposed to be a fault, and to cause all kinds of trouble. But I find that in general, people aren't able to muster up enough pride in their work and in themselves. I have to talk myself into it, frequently. I think, "Really all I want to do is run away and hide in a cabin in the deep woods of northern Minnesota for about thirty years and live on fried squirrels and nuts and berries and avoid all contact with humans." I have to convince myself that this would not be a good thing. That it's fine to receive and accept constructive criticism. That it's actually helpful and allows me to grow as a writer and a person. That I need to persist and be proud of my work and of who I am.
This is easier said than done.
It's also no less difficult to accept praise. We are very complicated. We don't like criticism, but we don't like praise either. We get all weird about it and when we are praised we want to retreat to our cabin in the woods to eat squirrels no less than when we are criticized. We get all flustered and tend to denigrate ourselves: "No, really, it's a piece of crap, and I know it. You don't have to lie to me!"
So, today let's practice Pride and Persistence. List five things you are proud of about yourself or your work. Then list the reasons why. Then think of compliments you have received. Write them down, too, whether you think they are deserved or not. Then keep working. Write down how you might keep putting yourself out there, as a person, as an artist, as a soccer player, as whatever you are proud of in your life. Keep persistently pushing aside those thoughts of cabins.